Blog

By Candice Katherine Febrile, Founder of Single Mom Mindset & Empowered Mom Mindset

The holidays are here – a time of warmth, togetherness, and endless reminders of what society thinks a “perfect family” should look like. For single moms, the season can feel like a mixed bag. Between the pressure to make everything magical for our kids and the quiet moments when we wish we had someone to share the load, it’s easy to slip into overwhelm.

But let me tell you something, from one single mom to another: you are not just enough – you are everything.

When I became a single mom by choice, I knew there would be challenges. What I didn’t anticipate was how much joy I could create on my own terms. And that’s what I want for you this holiday season: to see the holidays not as something to “survive,” but as an opportunity to thrive.

Here’s the thing: society often defines the holidays by what we’re supposed to have – a partner, picture-perfect traditions, or the newest toys under the tree. But guess what? Those are someone else’s rules, and we don’t have to follow them. This is your life, your family, and your chance to redefine the season for yourself and your kids.

Release the Pressure

First, let’s talk about the pressure. If you’re feeling like you need to do it all—deck the halls, bake the cookies, be Santa, wrap the gifts, and stay on top of everything else… you’re not alone! But you don’t need to be a superhero to create a magical holiday.

The magic isn’t in the perfectly set table or the most Instagram-worthy tree. It’s in the moments: the giggles during movie marathons, the hot cocoa spills, and even the times you just collapse on the couch and breathe. Your kids aren’t going to remember the stuff; they’ll remember you.

So, ditch the Pinterest-level expectations. Choose one thing that feels meaningful to you and your family. Whether it’s decorating, baking, or just a daily countdown with silly jokes, and make that your tradition. Simplify the rest.

Embrace Your Power

Here’s the part I need you to hear: you are not “less than” because you’re doing this alone. In fact, single moms are some of the most resilient, resourceful, and loving people I know. You’re teaching your kids strength, independence, and what it looks like to rewrite the rules of what a family can be.

When you feel that pang of loneliness or compare yourself to others, remind yourself of the powerhouse you are. You’re giving your kids the most valuable gift: your love, your time, and the example of a woman who shows up even when it’s hard. That’s something no holiday catalog could ever match.

Create Your Own Joy

One thing I’ve learned is that joy doesn’t always show up on its own. We have to choose it! The holidays are a perfect time to lean into the small things that make you happy. Maybe it’s blasting your favorite playlist while decorating, singing carols with the kids (even if you sound like me lol), or sneaking away for a quiet moment with a book and tea after bedtime.

Let your joy be unapologetic. Your kids will feel it, and it will set the tone for the season. And if you’re still working on finding your joy, that’s okay, too. It’s a practice, not a destination.

Find Support, Give Yourself Grace

Finally, don’t be afraid to lean on your village, whatever that looks like for you. Whether it’s family, friends, or online communities, there are people who want to support you. Let them.

And when things don’t go as planned (because they won’t), give yourself grace. You’re human, not a holiday robot. The messy, imperfect moments are often the most beautiful ones.

This Season, You’re the Gift

As you move through this holiday season, remember: you are the heart of your family, the creator of its magic, and the anchor in your kids’ lives. You are doing more than enough.

So, here’s to single moms making their own rules, choosing joy, and thriving this holiday season. You’ve got this, and your kids think you’re a rockstar.

Happy holidays, from my little family to yours.

Candice Katherine FebrileFounder of Single Mom Mindset & Empowered Mom Mindset