Celebrating Women & Motherhood As a Single Mom by Choice
By: Candice Katherine Febrile, founder of Single Mom Mindset & Empowered Woman
First things first: Happy International Women’s Day!! What an incredible time we’re living in. The women that came before us, paving the way for us to live lives that we truly enjoy living. I’m eternally grateful to the powerhouse females that came before me, and the women that continue to fight for change today. As a woman that is part of the single mom by choice community, I believe it’s important to thank the solo mothers among me and before me. We are raising a whole new generation of thinkers and changers.
For the first thirty years of my life, I imagined that I’d be a great wife, and fall in line. What an honor to serve my husband, I thought. How lucky I’d be to have my other half one day… Little did I know how deep-routed those narratives were in us all! Society groomed us into good girls, that would one day be great women – women to walk just a few steps behind their men.
It’s actually funny to think about now. As a woman that has taken a step back and really examined the way we were raised, I understand why we were raised that way, and that’s why I fight back. Following my separation with my ex-fiancé, I decided to expand my family as an independent mother, with the help of donor sperm. Most people around me were resistant. I understand why! They, too, had been squished into a box and told that anything outside of those tiny walls was wrong. Reevaluating the nonsense we learned caused me to change the narrative for myself. That box? It’s a goner. I now see endless possibilities. I’ve had the opportunity to make endless connections with other women in this community – women that are no longer willing to “fall in line”. Mothers that are choosing to raise powerhouse children, independently. Women that know what they want and aren’t afraid to create it for themselves.
It took me hitting rock bottom after my separation to realise that something had to change! I didn’t want to raise any children – let alone a daughter – with the same outdated ideals. My daughter knows that she can make big moves. She doesn’t have to ask permission to use her big, loud, knowledgeable voice. Her thoughts, feelings, and emotions matter. She has the right to follow her heart, no matter what that means or how much it offends someone else’s fragile ego. My son is being taught the exact same things…
With an added layer of respect for the women around him. What an honor it is to raise powerful children that aren’t afraid to live big lives! Oftentimes, we don’t realize how small we were living until we become parents ourselves. I was always so afraid to speak out and share what was on my heart, now, nothing can stop me haha! Truly, unpacking the “truths” ingrained in us is a big job, but I recommend doing a deep dive as soon as possible. I’ll bet that you’ll rapidly see a flawed system that was designed to keep women meek and mild. A system that we’re no longer accepting.
Countless women ask me about my journey as a single mom by choice, wondering if it’s hard or if I have any regrets. While I’ll be the first to tell you that single motherhood is not an easy gig – you are raising a whole other person (or two) entirely on your own – it is the most rewarding experience of my life. My children teach me things about myself constantly. They empower me to use my voice and to advocate for women. I’ve been the mom that had a full time partner that didn’t carry their weight. I’ve been the mom that was coparenting with a combative ex, and I’m now the mom that is parenting full time on my own, and I will tell you that compared to all the other arrangements, using a sperm donor to become a single mom by choice is top notch!
My hope is that one day my children will be able to look back on International Women’s Day and be grateful that I decided to raise them as fierce individuals. What they may not realize, is that it’s all thanks to them!
Today is the day to celebrate all women, and I’m so empowered to be able to do so with the help of Fairfax Cryobank and their rockstar team.
If you’ve been considering becoming a single mom by choice and having a baby on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out to me on socials (links included below). If you’re wondering how to get started with Fairfax Cryobank, this page is really helpful. You owe it to yourself to really evaluate how empowering your motherhood journey could be!
Cheers to this powerful day!!
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