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By Candice Katherine Febrile, Founder of Single Mom Mindset 

When I started my journey to becoming a single mom by choice, I thought I had a solid financial plan. I budgeted for sperm (because, yes, that’s at the top of the list), fertility treatments, and all the adorable baby clothes I’d been eyeing for months. I was feeling responsible, prepared, and, let’s be real, a little smug. 

Then reality hit. And my bank account was like, “Oh, sweetie, you thought?” 

No one warned me about the sneaky costs of bringing a baby into the world solo. And if you’re planning to do this on your own, I want to give you a heads-up so you’re not side-eyed by your checking account like I was. Let’s talk about the real costs of becoming a single mom by choice, beyond just sperm and medical bills. 

1. The “Just in Case” Fund (a.k.a. Your Emergency Backup Plan) 

Here’s something I wish I knew earlier: when you’re the only parent, you can’t afford to “figure things out later.” There’s no partner to pick up the slack if money gets tight. That means building an extra financial cushion before the baby arrives is crucial. 

I recommend setting aside at least three months’ worth of expenses for things like: 
– Unexpected medical costs (because even the healthiest pregnancies can surprise you) 
– Extra childcare if you need a break or an emergency pops up 
– Time off work if you’re self-employed or don’t have paid leave 

It’s not the most fun thing to save for, but trust me, future you will be very grateful. And if you don’t end up using it, you can buy something fun… like a vacation for you and your mini! 

2. The “Invisible” Baby Costs No One Mentions 

We all know about diapers, formula, and cribs. But let’s talk about the sneaky expenses that no one puts on baby registries: 

– Higher grocery bills: Babies don’t eat much at first, but somehow your grocery bill still skyrockets. (Something about those late-night Uber Eats orders? IYKYK.) 
– More laundry = higher utility bills: You’ll be washing onesies constantly. 
– Doctor visits galore: Even with insurance, copays and unexpected visits add up. 
– Replacing all the things: Bottles, pacifiers, and tiny socks will magically disappear, and you’ll be rebuying them forever. Trust me, my oldest is ten and it’s always the socks. 

3. Childcare (Even If You Work from Home) 

I used to think, “I work from home! I can just watch my baby while I work!” Cute, right? That idea lasted about three days before I realized working and parenting at the same time is a special kind of chaos. 

Whether it’s part-time daycare, a babysitter a few hours a week, or a mother’s helper, budgeting for some form of childcare will save your sanity. Even if it’s just a couple of hours here and there so you can nap, shower, or stare at the wall in peace. 

4. Therapy, Coaching, or Emotional Support 

Listen, becoming an SMBC is amazing, but it also comes with emotional ups and downs. There’s no co-parent to bounce decisions off of, and not everyone in your life will get your choice. (Cue the unsolicited opinions.) 

A therapist, coach, or even a solid support group can be life-changing. Having people who understand what you’re going through? Priceless. 

5. The “Making Life Easier” Fund 

When you’re a solo parent, time is your most valuable asset. Investing in things that save you time and energy is worth every penny. Some of my favorite lifesavers: 

– Grocery delivery or meal kits: Because dragging a newborn through a store is not the move. Or a fun trend I’ve been seeing: instead of a traditional baby shower, have your girlfriends batch-cook meals for you to store in your freezer for after the baby arrives! 
– House cleaning help (even once a month): Trust me, you won’t regret it. 
– Prepaid self-care fund: Whether it’s a massage, babysitting for a solo outing, or just an overpriced latte, a little indulgence goes a long way. 

But Here’s the Good News… 

Yes, there are a lot of extra costs that come with being a single mom by choice. But here’s the thing: it’s all figureoutable. 

You don’t have to have every dollar saved before you start. You just need to be aware, plan smart, and know that you’re capable of making it work. Because you are. 

And when you finally hold that baby in your arms? You won’t be thinking about the unexpected costs. You’ll just be thinking, “Wow. This was worth every penny.”