Support Resources for Single Moms by Choice
If you’re a single mother by choice looking to connect with your community, check out this list of support resources for single moms!
A single mom by choice, or SMC, is a parent who decides to have a child on her own. Unlike partnered parents and separated or widowed parents, an SMC is intentionally her child’s only parent.
Raising kids is hard enough when you have a partner—the finances, logistics, and emotional responsibilities are big, and when you’re a single parent, they fall solely on you. There is great beauty and freedom, however, in being an SMC: you make all the decisions for your child, you can design your life in any way that feels good to you, and you get to experience a one-on-one closeness with the kiddo that you built from scratch all on your own.
SMCs come from all walks of life, but they have one thing in common: they need support. Being the one-and-only to a tiny person can be magical, but it’s also a ton of work, and you are literally only one person. Check out the support resources we’ve curated below for communities, services, and organizations to help you do your very best for your little one—and for yourself.
Fertility and pregnancy resources
Most services, support, and resources for fertility and pregnancy are geared toward couples, so it is important to find spaces that feel nurturing to the family that you are creating as a single parent. You want support that meets you where you’re at without treating you like you’re missing a piece of the puzzle.
- Choice Chat for Choice Moms is a podcast dedicated to fertility and pregnancy concerns specific to SMCs. Episodes explore single-parent adoption, egg freezing, doulas, and much more.
- Virtual childbirth and baby care classes are available through MomEase. Birthing parents are welcome to bring a support person of their choice, but the classes are specifically not for couples.
- Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood is widely regarded as the fundamental text for all things SMC and family planning. Written by a psychotherapist, the book is full of information and wisdom.
- For a more narrative-driven SMC book, Genevieve Roberts’ memoir Going Solo is a touching and gripping read about her experience with donor sperm and single parenthood.
One of the things about raising a child without a partner is that you don’t have a lot of room to fall apart. Taking care of your mental, physical, and spiritual health is vital, because your little one will be relying on you as their only parent. For this reason, self-care is critical for SMCs.
- Invest in your wellness where you can—check out free movement sites like Do Yoga with Me, where you can take online yoga classes from home in whatever bits of time you can spare.
- Think carefully about healthcare for yourself and your little one. This blog post does an excellent job of outlining the important considerations.
- ChoiceMoms.org offers free E-Guides to help you find the supports you’ll need. They also offer regional SMC-resource guides for New York City, Toronto, and D.C., and a comprehensive nationwide list of therapists “who understand the Choice Mom journey.”
It takes a village to raise a child—and that is especially true for solo mamas, who need support, community, and parenting guidance from that village.
- The Mocha Single Mothers by Choice podcast (and the Facebook group by the same name), is a space for Black SMCs to “discuss the trials, tribulations, and joys of this non-traditional path to motherhood.”
- The Single Mothers by Choice Forum is a welcoming online support group for all SMCs, as well as “thinkers” who are considering becoming SMCs.
- For a true-life look at what it’s like to be an SMC—what your community looks like—check out photojournalist Jackie Molloy’s gorgeous New York Times project chronicling the lives of four women in the process of being and becoming SMCs.
A bold choice
Being a single mom by choice is a brave, powerful move, and a great act of faith in yourself. The road can be lonely—but it doesn’t have to be. You can access support for yourself and your little one by tapping into the amazing web of resources available in your local community and around the world online.